David has been completely showing me up with his blogging skills. I fell like I don't have anything else to say! We are driving along on a perfect rainy day through clouds and semi-darkness. I love this kind of weather. After over a week of driving, I realize how important it is to have times to myself. As Donald Miller says, I am like one of those power drills that needs about 20 hours of recharging in order to do 10 minutes of drilling. So this morning David plugged me in: computer, headphones, the works. I was in a different place altogether. Wonderful. I have been reading Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller, it is fantastic. Usually, I am recommending books that I haven't read, but others I trust have raved about. This time, I have almost finished it. Nonreligious thoughts on Christian Spirituality, it calls itself, and has chapters like Community: Living with Freaks and Faith: Penguin Sex. Another book I am reading is called Third Culture Kids in anticipation of taking our children abroad as we study the language and culture of Deaf people. Interestingly, this is also giving me insight into the life experiences of David's mother who grew up in Africa like my good friend, Diane, did. So that is a bit of what is going on with me. It is actually quite a bit considering I haven't read a book in months. TTFN

July fifth David and I were up talking one night for three hours. One of the things we talked about was our freedoms, it being the fifth of July, and all. We talked about the many freedoms from which we would be abstaining. A big one for us is the ways we grow closer to our Maker. I, through nature. He, through community. Each will be a unique challenge overseas. We decided we would be proactive about keeping ourselves healthy in this area and support one another in getting what we each need. Even that night and the next morning, our requests were answered for me. Visiting David's Deaf brother Daniel's flickr site was amazing. He sees water drops on a table top, he sees a small bug on a leaf. He sees the clouds before a storm. He doesn't just take photos of beautiful things in nature, his perspective brings out their beauty. I was encouraged that I could fill our home with beautiful scenes of nature and experience the wonder of creation even when I am buried in the city. The next morning, I continued my reading through Ps*lms at 104: all about nature. I was moved, remembering again that the Creator knows His creation, even me in the conversation of the night before.

Last week, I was talking to my sister-in-law, Emily, about the blurred brain I have had recently. How do you prepare to say good-bye to your home of six years and the friends and memories you have there? Our children have been very helpful to me in this are; facilitating their good-byes helps me process my own. I told Emily, I didn't feel right about saying good-bye before we were officially moving, but then I realized we would be in town for little more than two weeks before our move. Plan a Bon Voyage party, send invitations, pack, divest of what we aren't taking, visit six years of people and places for the last time in that time? Blurred brain.
So, we have begun. Kathy, the ultimate party planner, helped me plan a Bon Voyage party and Tina and Christopher have agreed to host it at their house. I have been thinking of last visits with friends and David has planned a camping trip with his guy friends.
Another activity that has helped the kids and I process has been to look through all of the photos we have taken. I made an A,B,C 1,2,3 book from a three ring binder and on each page is a family member or friend that we love. I made an album for us to take over with us to introduce ourselves to new friends and give them a bit of our background. For our Colorado pages, I was impressed to realize we have visited the Botanic Gardens, the Museum of Nature and Science, Red Rocks Amphitheater, the Children's Museum of Denver, Glenwood Springs, Dinosaur Ridge, Mount Falcon, Chief Hosa, Estes Park, Lair o' the Bear, the Capitol, the Butterfly Pavilion, Library story times in 5 counties, and many beautiful parks and playgrounds. For our family pages, I loved having photos of my children with uncles, aunts, cousins, grandparents, and great-grandparents on both sides. Each smiling face seemed to me to be affirming and present with us.
Altogether, it has been a truly wonderful experience. Like remembering and carrying with you, very literally, all of the things for which you are thankful.
Joshua and Hannah, saying good-bye to their favorite swimming pool.

I thought I would give a bit of an update on how Joshua is doing with his "things". For the move from the Steven's house, I basically just gave each child a duffel bag and said they could put anything they wanted into it, but it had to zip. I added, that crying would be okay, but if we were all able to finish packing these bags with no tantrums, I would take everyone to Chic Fil A for lunch. We spent the morning going through toys, books, even special blankets. And the children earned Chic Fil A. That afternoon while they were away with David, I put everything else in their room into boxes in the basement. Then we emphasized how wonderful it was to have what they had in their bags.
Actually, each of the children have had the opportunity to miss something since we have made this initial move. Joshua burst into tears when he realized we had given away a computer mouse he used with his kindergarten program. And Hannah keeps asking for her tricycle that we returned after a long-term loan from a friend. I tried to explain to Joshua with an analogy, and, actually, a rather good one came to me as we were driving in the car. I said, "Let me tell you a story. There were two friends, a boy and a girl. One day the two of them were playing in some caves and tunnels, when the girl got lost, and became stuck. The boy was the only one who knew where she was and he could even see her through a narrow passageway. He could help her out, if he could get to her. Well, this boy was wearing his favorite hat and a big backpack with many things he loved. He climbed to the opening where he could see her and started squeezing through, but he couldn't his head in because of his favorite hat! He knew he would have to take his hat off if he wanted to get through to his friend, so he took his hat off. He was able to pull his head and shoulders through the opening but was able to go no further because of his backpack. It was too big and bulky to get through the hole, so he took it off. Although it had many of the things he loved in it, he knew it was worth it to rescue his friend. WIth his hat and backpack off, he found that he was able to climb through the hole quite easily and was soon with his friend. He helped her get loose from where she was stuck and she gave him a big hug. As they walked out of the cave together, he knew that he had made the right choice."

How we are enjoying our new space! Moving day(s) David sorted and stacked our non-essentials in Steven's basement, then scrubbed everything down. My friend Kathy helped me child-proof the new place, hiding breakables and covering sofas with sheets. I am able to relax knowing my kids have less of a chance to "make a lasting impression" on this beautiful house. We also have the use of our host's car so I don't have to pack the kids in the car at 7:30 am to drive David to work and use the car during the day.
We are so thankful, the way that our Father has come through meeting our needs, and so much more. Like, we have a pool within walking distance and a fenced in yard for the kids to run. We have begun an evening ritual of watering the plants outside. When Mommy does it, the kids are in bed asleep. When Daddy does it, the kids are outside in their swimsuits! Joshua was heartbroken to miss the "fun" when he had to go to soccer practice!
We saw our previous housemates, the Stevens this past Tuesday and it was both happy and sad for the children. They greeted one another enthusiastically and laughed and played, but after a time of settling down Joshua began to cry. He saw the race car his friend brought and it reminded him of all of the toys and fun times he had at his old house. I assured him this was the way he was supposed to feel right now. We will definately plan some play dates with the Stevens to transition gently into this absence.

As long as I have known David, he has always said, "I want to be able to pack two bags and leave the rest of it behind." Soon, we hope to have the opportunity to do just that. ...but with two kids and 13 bags. I caught a glimpse into Joshua's relationship to his possessions before a birthday party today. Instead of purchasing new gifts for her son to open, our party hostess instructed us to wrap USED toys our children had outgrown, and we would exchange them. Everyone would return home with a "new" toy. Joshua was extremely upset at the prospect of having to bid any of his toys farewell. Between sobs, he said, "I love ALL of my toys," and "But you gave me that as a present, and I don't want to give it away." As we cuddled and processed his feelings, I explained that if he loved something so much that he couldn't give it away, he wasn't the owner. The toy was owning him, because it was his boss. While this concept works through to him, I turn to a song by one of my favorite artists, who pens,

Every heart needs to be set free
From possessions that hold it so tight
'Cause freedom's not found in the things that we own
It's the power to do what is right
With J****, our only possession
Then giving becomes our delight
And we can't imagine the freedom we find
From the things we leave behind

You know, I have a lifetime of memories and experiences to draw on when I have to let go. Knowing that my Provider always comes through. Seeing my needs pressed upon the heart of another in the nick of time makes tangible to my heart what I know in my head. That is what I own.

He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose. -Jim Elliot

I had heard that turning thirty was something to be dreaded... One friend cried all day. Another friend needed to have a big celebration. One was depressed. However, I think that the introspecting crisis I might have anticipated at thirty has already come and gone. David and I had our first fight this year. OK, got that over with. Realized that we would still be married if we had conflict. We have had our lives dissected and handed back to us in the process of going overseas. Week-long interview, check. Crying in psychologist's office, check. Now, I am re-reading my journals from the last TWENTY years. They are amazing. Embarrassing, yes, but amazing. I had a spectacular childhood and adolescence. However, I don' t look back and long to be there again. I love where I am. I am married to an incredible man who knows me and loves me for me. Constantly challenging me, astounding me, raising the standard. We are broke, but rich in time that we lavish on our two children and on those we seek to love. Extravagant, really. So, overall I think that I'll go with our house mate's opinion of decades. The twenties we didn't know what we wanted. They were like a roller coaster. The thirties we were more stable, more wise, more mature. Sounds good.