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Mommy, Joshua Said...

Our children crack me up.

Hannah said her “knuckles and grannies” hurt, instead of saying her “nooks and crannies”

Joshua said that kamikaze was spelled with a “comma”.

On the topic of home schooling as a means for skipping certain grades, Hannah informed me, “I only want to take the easy grades. The hard grades I want to skip.”

Trying to peak Hannah’s interest, I said, “Hannah, you will never guess what I read this morning in God’s Word!”
To which Hannah very seriously replied, “Can you just tell me?”

“My favorite pizza is meatloaf.”
-Joshua misquoting “meat lovers”

One morning at breakfast, Joshua reflected, “Mommy, you are home made.”
“No,” I corrected, “I am God-made.”
To which Joshua replied, “Well, God was at home when He made you!”

Hannah, exercising as much authority as a five and a half year old can muster, orders her Daddy to take a shower after playing ultimate frisbee, “Daddy, go take a shower, you smell horrible! ...Oh, it is just my breath.”

“Mommy, that lady has white skin, but black legs!”
Joshua, observing the rare phenomenon of panty hose.

Hannah, looking at Jesus’s robes in a coloring page,
“Mommy, Jesus is wearing a cape!”
“Well, he is not a super hero,” I clarified.
Hannah stepped back, “Oh yes! He has the ‘everything power’!”

Joshua asked to pray with me one night, he led and we took turns. He said,
“You know every kind of invention that has ever been made... I only know some parts of light bulbs.”


Joshua, to Daddy: Daddy, does Mexico have totem poles?
Hannah, interrupting: I think the North Pole did...
Joshua, irritated: Do you even know what a totem pole is?
Hannah, deflated: No.

The kids sometimes get doses of American culture from television programs that they themselves do not understand, like Joshua, after watching an episode of Hannah Montana asked, “Mommy, what does the ‘White Hizzle’ look like?”